The Ultimate Guide to Planning a Traditional Nigerian Wedding

You might be curious about what a traditional Nigerian wedding entails, or maybe you're looking for ideas on what to wear to a traditional Nigerian wedding. Whatever your reason for finding this article, welcome! My name is Kae, I'm a Nigerian Wedding Planner based in New Jersey (but I travel all over the United States for my clients), and my goal is to help you get an answer to your questions.

Let's dive in.

With over ten years of experience planning Nigerian traditional wedding ceremonies, I'll start by stating a quick fact before we go deeper into all the traditions, and that is: Nigeria is a large, multi-ethnic country. We have three main tribes: Igbos, Hausas, and Yorubas, so technically, there isn't a particular traditional wedding ceremony that serves all cultures. Depending on the ethnic group, their weddings will vary from attire to music. This article will highlight some of the more distinct parts of a traditional Nigerian wedding.

Introduction: Traditional Nigerian Wedding Ceremony

Nigerians celebrate two wedding ceremonies: a white wedding and a traditional Nigerian wedding ceremony. While a white wedding is religious and follows Western customs, the mandatory traditional wedding ceremony is often a colorful display of culture and rituals. The latter is done in phases. An introduction, the engagement, and the paying of the bride price all lead up to the actual wedding ceremony.

Months Leading Up to a Traditional Nigerian Wedding Ceremony

Planning a traditional Nigerian wedding ceremony requires honoring culture and customs while ensuring that the couple and their families have a great time. The country has 371 ethnic groups, and they each have a unique way of conducting wedding ceremonies. However, there’s one thing they all have in common: an introduction ceremony.

An Introduction is when both families formally meet to discuss the proposed marriage. It marks the couple’s first step towards their marital journey. To begin this, the groom and his family will visit the bride’s family home, bearing gifts.

Things you can expect to witness:

• The bride’s family welcomes the groom’s family with treats.

  • After the greetings, speeches would follow. The bride’s family will ask the groom’s family their reason for the visit. The groom’s family’s representative will speak in a cliché way, for example: “We found a flower in your home, and we’ve come to pluck it.” The aim is to lighten the mood, get everyone laughing, and diffuse the tension in the room.

• In certain tribes, like the Igbos, the bride will be asked a question after this.

  • For Example: "Do you know the young man who’s come to visit us?". In this context, the young man refers to the groom. When she says yes, her uncle, father, or a representative would ask her if they can accept the gift the groom’s family has brought with them. The elders from both families do most of the talking during an introduction ceremony, so you don’t have to worry about anything.

• During this visit, the groom’s family is given a traditional marriage list.

  • This list contains the items needed for the traditional wedding ceremony. They include palm wine, tubers of yam, alcohol, salt, money, etc. In recent times, some families allow this list to be monetized when it’s not convenient for the groom to provide the items. This list would later cause a back-and-forth negotiation between both families, as the groom’s family would try to negotiate and cut costs.

• A traditional wedding date is picked

  • The elders from both families discuss and decide which date is most convenient for both families.

Need help coordinating the many moving parts of your traditional Nigerian wedding? Schedule a free consultation and let’s map out your celebration together.

Having Kae as a wedding planner is the way to go. She planned both wedding days for us back to back and she literally made sure me and husband were okay every step of the way. If we were stressed about anything, she wanted to take it all away and she did! She is gold when it comes to this. Her team is also amazing. I have no regrets working with her. Such a super kind, funny, hardworking and beautiful person inside and out. she needs to be protected at all costs!! Without her, we would have passed out. (Review by Sefrah)

Weeks Leading Up to a Traditional Nigerian Wedding Ceremony

While planning a traditional Nigerian wedding ceremony, it’s important to know that it’s the celebration of love, culture, and both families uniting. So, you have to make plans that accommodate the needs, tastes, and vision of both families. These include:

The Traditional Wedding Attire

Nigeria has a rich cultural heritage. The attire you choose should align with the culture of the couple. The Igbo attire is usually made of an isi-agu or isi-anyiya fabric, with coral beads around the neck, waist, and ankles of the bride. A traditional cap completes the groom’s look. The Yoruba attire consists of an agbada for men and aso-oke and gele (headgear) for the ladies. If you're a wedding guest, not to worry, you won't be left out. Guests are usually dressed in traditional outfits, too.

Aso-ebi

Before the ceremony, a fabric that’s known as the aso-ebi will be sold to friends, families, and guests. So, whenever you attend a traditional Nigerian wedding ceremony, and almost everyone is dressed in the same fabric, it’s not a coincidence. For the sake of uniformity, the Nigerian aunties source these fabrics, and interested parties pay to obtain a piece of it.

Venue’s Décor

A traditional Nigerian wedding ceremony’s décor is vastly different from that of a ‘white’ wedding. The venue is always decorated to reflect the culture of the couple. One look and you can tell if it’s a Tiv, Efik, Igbo, Hausa, Kalabari, or Yoruba traditional wedding.

Wedding Cake

The cakes provided during a traditional wedding ceremony are based on cultural practices. The bakers will embellish these cakes with fondant kolanut, traditional fabrics, beads, tiny palm trees, or whatever represents the culture of the couple.

Food and Music

During the ceremony, everyone eats to their satisfaction. Traditional Nigerian meals such as egusi soup, pounded yam, abacha, ewedu and amala, ofe oha, jollof rice, and tuwo are served, depending on the culture of the couple.

Guest List

It’s difficult to have an intimate traditional Nigerian wedding ceremony, since almost everyone is invited. This includes extended family, friends of the family, colleagues, friends of friends, and even former neighbors. In Nigeria, it’s believed that it takes a village to raise a child. So, when the ‘child’ is getting married, the village has to show up.

Bride Price

Contrary to modern-day belief, a bride price does not mean you’re buying the lady. It’s simply about respecting the culture that has been in existence for hundreds of years. For most Nigerian tribes, the bride price itself is usually less than $10. The other items on the traditional marriage list are where the bulk of expenses lie.

Some bride’s family will refuse the bride price. It does have to be presented, though. But as soon as it touches the palms of their hands, they give it back to the groom’s family. This is a bold move. It sends a message to the groom that the bride wasn’t sold to him, in case he believes a bride price signifies a sale.

Looking for a planner who understands your culture and can manage every detail with care? I’ve helped countless Nigerian couples bring their traditions to life. Check out my services.

During a Traditional Nigerian Wedding Ceremony

This is the day everyone has been looking forward to; the cultural attires are ready, and guests come into town. In some cultures, the ceremony begins in the afternoon or evening. This gives the wedding vendors sufficient time to put all their final touches in place. As you might have already been able to tell if you've reached this far in the article, a traditional Nigerian wedding ceremony is a big deal, and everyone comes ready to party.

Here are some nuances to keep in mind:

For an inter-tribal or interracial marriage:

The traditional wedding ceremony is done per the bride’s culture. This should also be her father’s culture. Like we said, it’s a family affair. So the groom’s family does not feel left out, some elements of their culture are incorporated as well, such as music, attire, or dance.

The bride’s family is usually the host:

Meaning, they would already be seated in the venue, while the groom’s family is to dance in completely adorned in their traditional outfits. The traditional Nigerian wedding ceremony for the Yorubas is called the Igbeyawo, while the Igbos call it the Igba Nkwu.

If you’re getting married to a Yoruba lady, this is the day you’re expected to prostrate before her family. You and your groomsmen. You’ll also be instructed to give your bride a stash of money. Be ready.

During an Igba Nkwu, the bride is given a cup of (palm) wine, and she has to find her groom, who’s seated among the guests. He would drink the (palm) wine and put money into the cup. The bride and groom will step forward and give the cup, now containing money, back to the elders. They’ll kneel before said elders for their marriage to be blessed. After this, they can sit together, as husband and wife, while the rest of the ceremony continues.

Prayers and blessings are usually said by the elders during a traditional Nigerian wedding ceremony.

Guests bring gifts along on the wedding day:

Whatever you think the couple might need to begin their life together, bring it along. Some Nigerian families go the extra mile and gift cars, houses, refrigerators, TVs, baby cribs, and an astonishing amount of money. Some couples request to be given money only. Souvenirs are also given to guests.

Entertainment:

Dancers and other cultural displays will be made available to entertain the guests. A reception follows, with a lot of partying, drinking, food, and spraying of cash on the newly wed.

After a Traditional Nigerian Wedding Ceremony

After the wedding ceremony, the couple may need to pay a visit to some highly respected guests and the family members. This visit is to thank these individuals for their support and love during the wedding planning and ceremony.

Frequently Asked Questions about Traditional Nigerian Weddings

FAQ #1: How far in advance should I start planning a Nigerian traditional wedding?

It’s best to begin planning 9 to 12 months in advance. Traditional weddings involve multiple family members, cultural ceremonies, and sometimes international logistics. Starting early gives you time to secure vendors who understand Nigerian traditions, coordinate attire, and work through family expectations with care.

FAQ #2: Do I need a wedding planner for a traditional Nigerian wedding?

Yes, especially if you're blending cultures (see an example of our American-Nigerian wedding), planning from out of town, or managing multiple vendors. A planner who understands Nigerian customs can help manage the timeline, coordinate traditional elements, source culturally appropriate vendors, and handle day-of logistics. This ensures your event flows smoothly while honoring your roots.

FAQ #3: What should I wear to a traditional Nigerian wedding as a guest?

Guests are often encouraged to wear traditional Nigerian attire that reflects the couple’s culture. This may include aso-ebi, which is a coordinated fabric or clothing chosen by the couple’s family for guests to wear. For women, this could be a lace or ankara outfit with a gele (headwrap), while men may wear a senator suit, agbada, or native kaftan. If no aso-ebi is provided, dress modestly and colorfully. It’s always respectful to ask the couple or family about preferred attire in advance.

Nigerian Wedding Planned by Events by Kae

Conclusion: Traditional Nigerian Wedding Ceremony

Planning a traditional Nigerian wedding requires a lot of attention to detail, but I promise it's worth it. That's one of the reasons I recommend working with an experienced wedding planner like myself, who's familiar with all the traditions and cultural expectations of a Nigerian wedding. Nigerians take pride in showcasing their cultural heritage for everyone to see. So, whether you’re about to be a Nigerian groom or bride, or helping plan one, we hope this guide has been helpful.

If you're currently planning a Nigerian wedding anywhere in the United States and have questions, from venues to vendors. Please reach out, I'm happy to help.